Mark Twain wrote a story about a missing elephant. The detectives assigned to the case looked high and low but were unable to find the missing elephant. Finally the detective captain tripped over the missing elephant, or rather it’s rotting corpse, in the middle of the detectives’ dormitory. The detectives had been looking in all the wrong places and ignoring what was right in front of them. We refer to “the elephant in the room” to describe something obvious that no one seems to notice.
The abortion “debate” has become polarized, with those who want to prohibit and punish abortion standing nose-to-nose against those who want to encourage abortion and even force unwilling taxpayers to subsidize it. Neither side seems to be making any real attempt to address the other’s arguments or discuss the issue in context. Our politicians and news media seem more interest in stirring up emotions than working toward solutions. One side points out that abortion kills innocent children, and believes society, meaning government, has a duty to protect these innocent children who cannot protect themselves. The other side reminds us that the not-yet-born baby is residing inside the body of a woman, and believes society has a duty to support the woman’s choice of whether or not she wants it there.
Neither side seems to notice the obvious questions. Why is an unwanted baby inside of the woman to start with? Why does a woman wants to kill her child? We can pretty-much guess the physical and biological processes involved in getting a baby inside of a woman, but that information does little to illuminate the picture.
A brief web search brings up several articles and one decades-old study claiming that most unwanted pregnancies result from a man and woman voluntarily engaging in unprotected coitus with the belief that pregnancy will not result. It seems bizarre that anyone of average intelligence could reach child-bearing age in the 21st century without understanding that coitus causes babies. But people (myself included) are quite adept at lying to ourselves, so the claims are probably true. The anti-abortion crowd might prevent most abortions by heavily advertising the fact that coitus results in children. The advertisements need not include moralizing or threats of punishment, which might even detract from the message.
The same sources say that the second-largest group of unwanted pregnancies result from failure of contraceptive technologies, and that most of those failures arise from improper use. Teaching people to use contraceptives properly might prevent additional abortions. (Though having employed some of those technologies in my youth, I can understand why people might use some of them improperly, because when used properly they can be gigantic mood-killers.) Some young men may assume without asking if their partner is taking contraceptive pills; we can help them understand that many young women choose not to take the pills due to cost, inconvenience, and possible side effects.
There are myriad ways for a couple to stimulate themselves and each other to sexual climax without coitus and with no risk of pregnancy. I will not detail them here, but you probably already know of some and can imagine others. There are books, some recent and some thousands of years old, explaining methods of sexual stimulation. Some of my anti-abortion friends might be uncomfortable discussing these techniques, but they likely could prevent a lot of abortions by encouraging couples who do not want children at that stage of their lives to engage in non-coital stimulation instead of coitus.
Traditionally men have been thought to be more promiscuous than women. It does make sense that women are more affected by pregnancy and therefore have incentive to be more selective in choosing partners. It seems that a woman with a partner she perceives as acceptable would want her resulting children to live. Therefore I suspect many abortions result from coupling of a woman with a man she does not respect or whom she does not believe will provide for the family. Creating a child just so it can be killed provides no benefit to the woman or the man, so why do people do it?
Young people feel tremendous social pressure to have sex. And their out-of-control hormones push them in that same direction. A man’s self-image of virility may depend on sexual “conquest”. A woman’s self-image of desirability may depend on getting attention from a man. As a society we cannot do much about the hormones except to help young people understand them, but we can make an effort to refocus social pressure toward encouraging young men and women to choose whether of not to to have a child before conception, rather than afterward.
Why might a woman consent to sex with a man she does not respect—one who’s child she does not want? People being complex creatures, there may be many possible reasons, but one is obvious. That is quid pro quo: the man has control of something the woman wants, so she gives him something he wants in exchange. That something could be a job or promotion; it could be a night on the town, a feeling of being valued, or even cash. Legalizing forms of “the oldest profession” that do not result in conception or injury seems like a reasonable step toward reducing the number of aborted babies. As we already have laws against sexual harassment and programs to help women value themselves, there may not be much more we can do for those categories.
A second obvious reason is fear. A woman may fear that a man will hurt her or someone she cares about unless she has sex with him. Threats of violence to obtain sexual favors are already illegal and are a form of rape.
But now let’s assume that a couple has already conceived a child and it is already alive inside the mother. Why, at this point, might a woman decide to kill her unborn child? I can think of five categories of reasons: the difficulty and pain of child bearing, the inconvenience of raising a child, social pressure, financial pressure, and disrespect for or rejection by the father. There may be more categories, but these are probably broad enough to address most situations.
Starting with the last category, disrespect for or rejection by the father, we addressed above why a woman might have sex with a man she does not respect. Even most who oppose abortion are sympathetic with a woman choosing to abort the child of a rapist. There are many possible reasons why a woman might disrespect her spouse, ex-spouse, boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, or some strange man she met at a bar. Some of these women might be willing to bear the child if the father agreed to pay the expenses and either provide support or accept custody after the child was born. We might invest resources in encouraging men and women to respect themselves enough to refrain from sex with people they despise, and encouraging men to accept responsibility for their children.
Working backward through the list, next comes financial pressure. The father, of course, has a moral obligation to support his child and its mother. This obligation has been addressed in the law as child-support and alimony. But some fathers have little financial resources to share, and mothers often decline to identify the father, preferring handouts from the government over support from a father. The rest of society, including those of us who fund the government, have no ethical obligation to fund the child, mother, or father through the government or through any other means. Once again, the best answer may be advertising and social pressure encouraging people not to conceive children they cannot afford to support. Additionally, we may be able to streamline the adoption process to reduce the cost and make it easier for a mother who cannot afford to raise her child to transfer the child to someone who can.
Social pressure has been addressed above with regard to conception, but not with regard to encouraging a woman to carry and bear a child who has already been conceived. A woman might reasonably be concerned that potential suitors will shy away if they see that she is pregnant. She might not want her parents, church, or friends to know that she has been sexually active. This is a difficult issue to address because any social pressure that discourages unwanted conception might pressure a woman into abortion after conception. It seems about all we can do is encourage forgiveness for those who make mistakes and encourage those around them to help them deal with the pregnancy. We can also encourage men to take responsibility for their children. Streamlined adoption processing might help.
Streamlined adoption might also help with the problem of a woman who does not want to raise her child.
Finally, the pain and difficulty of carrying and bearing a child are inherent biological facts and are best avoided by avoiding conception in the first place. An organization providing assistance to the pregnant woman might help her decide to carry the child to term, rather than abort.
To summarize the plan:
• Heavily advertise that coitus causes babies.
• Advertise the importance of reading and following directions when using contraceptives.
• Advertise that men should not assume without asking if their partner uses birth-control pills and that women should let their partner know if they are not.
• Advertise the option of non-coital stimulation instead of coitus, with references to sources for further information.
• Advertise that the time to make a choice is before conception, not afterward.
• Legalize prostitution for those practices that are unlikely to result in injury, pregnancy, or spread of disease.
• Advertise the message that young people who respect themselves don’t have sex with people they do not respect.
• Consider ways to simplify and reduce cost of infant adoption. Consider subsidizing infant adoption through contributions to a non-profit agency.
• Advertise messages of support and offer donor-supported services for those carrying a child through an unwanted pregnancy.
• Advertise the responsibilities of fatherhood.
So there you have my plan to address abortion. It does not mention sending anyone to jail, and most of the proposed activities can be carried out by non-profit organizations funded by donations with little government involvement. As with all of my plans, if you have any suggestions for improvement let me know in the comments.
Posted 2021/12/29
Minor edits 2021/12/30